1027.TEN

So, I’m done with two movies. I’ll be back to Tacloban tomorrow, that is, if laziness won’t hit me, again. We’ll I got a lot of stories to tell. It’ll take me forever to finish writing it. Yea, that’s a little bit exaggerated. It’s something like that, though.  If you know what I mean. Well, I bet you don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I don’t understand myself either. 

I’m watching Jeepers  Creepers 2, by the way. And it’s taking my breath away. Whoa! I love trailers. The kind with killers that rips off the head or do something unimaginable to a body or something.

Well I like movies that make me scream. I mean really screeeeaaaammm. The kind that makes me forgets to breathe. Something like, Wrong Turn or Saw.

I guess that’s all for now. Goin to watch survivor. 

GW soon aimz!

Adi na liwat ak. Gin-aabat ko na liwat an sakit. Pauro-utro. Nagbabalik balik. Dire enough it luha para mahigawas kun ano man nga kapait tak inaabat yana. Kadamo nga frustrations. Nga ha kadamo, maguol na pagpinanhunahuna.  Madali la yumakan na kaya ko ini. Pero an pagbuhat hito amo an makuri. An kasakit mawawara hin kadaliay. Pero ha tym na maguusahan na, waray ak nahihimo kundi atubangon na liwat an kaul-ol han ak pagsaup.

                Nagpapasalamat ako ha usa ka adlaw nga nalabay. Pero ha pagmata ko hit aga, bagat waray pag-babag-o. I’m still a failure.

                I guess, I’m stranded here. Siguro, kay tungod na pinipili ko mgstay. Pero I can’t find a way para makarawat ko ini. I’m frustrated with myself. I’m a big disappointment. Bitter ano? Mapait gud liwat. Mapait-paitan.

                Pauru-utro ko ini aabaton na kasakit. Pauro-utro. An pinakamasakit man gud hini nga tanan, an kaawod nga ak ginaabat kanda mama. They don’t deserve this. Dire hira nadeserve hin anak na pareho ha akon. Pero dire ako naabat hin pagbasol. Kun kay ano. Dire ak maram.

                Gusto ko la tumook. Kunta, pinaagi hit ak pagtook maghinay-hinay kaubos it kasakit kutob na waray na masalin.

                I will never forget this year. Yana gud gintest an emotional side nakon. Baga ak hin ginlabay hin damo nga problema nga matest hit capacity ko emotionally. Damo an nanhinabo ngan d ak maram how I made it here. OA. Pero yana ko kasabti na hamubo ngean tak tolerance hit problema. Guti la. Pero dako it epekto haak. Baga ak hin ginlalabay utro hin duru dako nga problema everytime ginttry ko tumindog. But I’m glad. Natindog la geap ak. Gin-iilob it tanan na sakit hit pagsampak hit iba-iba nga klase hin problema. Ngan maram man ako dire ak matumba basta masandig la ako ha Iya.

                An gin-aaro ko la yana an strength nga makaya ko tanan na gin-aagian ko yana. To have that strength to let go han mga butang or tawo nga dire na ada dapat pa kaptan. Masakit isipon na waray ko kasalo ngatanan na  bola nga nakadi han ak kamot. Nahulog an usa kay gusto ko masalo an usa. An mas masakit ky an bola, na usa ha mga rason kun ky ano ko nahulog an usa, mahuhulog gihap ada yana. An pakiana ko liwat tak kalugaringon yana kun tama ba nga buhian ko nala ito? Ngan kun bubuhian ko man, kaya ko ba magpadayon na waray ito haak mga kamot?

                Sometimes, no matter how we do our best to make things work, it’s just not enough. And whether we like it or not, we need to let go. Makuri. Pero pagkarawat la an pinakamaupay himuon. Basta ada la hi Bro, kaya ini. Hey, aimz get well soon.

PS.

                Hello pain and other form of trials, you CANNOT bring me down. So, back off!

               

(WOOOOH.IT FEELS GOOD TO WRITE THINGS DOWN.PAIN RELIEVER GEAP!)

                        Time is 12:15am. October 17, 2010. Wrote this after talking with kuya noel. 

Thanks for the call kuya. I badly need that. 

Tanan nga nahapakulob. BUHAT!

Masakit hya. Baga kgad la udog gin ID nka 50. an distilled water ha? Nkkafrustrate. It feeling mo ba ikaw na it pinkabolok nga tawo? PERO. kaya ini! Tanan na pipol na same at inaabat yana. Ok la ito. took la kita! Feel the pain. Face it! PERO padaun la kita. Imagine, ginkaya naton an pangurog han pira ka PRS, nakaya nat kumapot hin pakla makdamo para pumasar han zoology, nkaya naton an dire na maiihap na mga gab-i hin pagstudy bisan dire naton maintindihan tat ginbabasa, ngan kadamo na nga times na ginyakan nat "DIRE NAAK! MAKAPOY NA!" pero we still find ourselves in school. Waray naton pagtiisi an tanan tanan, tkang ha Filipino 1 kutob ha Cura 2 para la sumiring na maSTOP na kita yana. Waray kita nagmata hin alas kuatro han aga makadamo, para la sumiring na dire na kita mpadaun. GUYS, pira nala ini ka steps. don't stop. kun nahapakulob man kita yana. BUHAT!

Damo na an nahapakulob.lets make them as our inspiration. kun nakaya nira bumuhat after nira mapakulob. kakayanon ta geap i2. And tanan na mga nahulog, igbos na mahulog, naeliminate, nagstop tas nagpadaun na liwat yana. IM PROUD of you! Yana ko nafeel an kaul-ol na iyo ginabat before, and i admire you guys for having the strength na i face tanan na kasakit! I salute you! Dire madali an iyo gin-agian but still adi la geap kamo ginpipirit pumasar para maprove ha tanan na nagsayop la kamo!

Nagsayop la geap ako! Ginhubya. Naging selfish. And I hate myself for that. Ky kun pwde inumon ko yana it usa ka bottle hin muriatic acid, ginhimo ko na. Pero dire ako, mahapdos i2n. Dire liwat ak magsasamad tak wrist ky masakit geap. i have to face this. kailangan ko ilobon an kasakit. Kailangan ko ilobon an kaawod knda mama. Ky tuyo la haak nga naghinubya.

I have to continue. We have to continue. Remember the 5th P? PERSISTENCE. We have to try again. We have to face our giants. Matumba geap i2 na cura 2 haat. :)

To Sir Dickya, dire kla maram sir how grateful I am for having the chance na maging teacher ka. I'm so LUCKY! I have learned a lot of things from you. Like, pwde pa ngean kaonon it pagkaon bisan nhulog na basta purota la daun ky ginkalasan pala ad2 an mga germs, kelangan la liwat padparan ky an mga naipit. haha. I will never forget that one. Sir, you're one in a million. Usa ka na living proof on how a GREAT teacher should be. I hope damo it sir Dickya ha world para party people! :)

It was never your fault kun nahulog man kami. You're still my BEST teacher!

N4d: i'll surely miss tanan na eu mga aringasa. :) salamat tanan na GM neu na warai kita class ha churva. or room 315 kta. Tanan na pagtext haak na "AIMZ SULOD" haha. nkktouch. alabyu ol! hugs.hugs.

Ageh. sakto na daw ini. halaba nman.. baga naak hini naghimo hin article. oist himu-i neu reaction ngan recommendation ha? TNR 11. short bond paper.haha. Basta, let's not stop dreaming, keep believing and survive (STARSTRUCK). (corny. haha. tawa nla kamo) makgraduate geap kita guys. magiging "RN" geap kita. And maabot geap it time na mremember nat ini na dark days at life, and pagtitinawaan ta nla ini. GO GUYS! dire ini axa it mkpatumba haat! Dire ini it mahadlang tat dream na maging "REGISTERED NURSE". (oh ha? mahadlang iton.haha)

I apologize hit kachakahan hini nga note. Madrama or ano man eu itawag. Ok la. tage la ak chance i-express tak nffeel. Mapait paitan gud tak gin-aagian yna. dre ak maram kun pano ko mkkrawat. Pero kaya yan! Super gin "waray" ko tlga hea, para maexpress ko ng bonggang bongga tanan na gusto iyakan. Usa la tak ginwwish yana, sana bumalik na ka-tag 50 cents an snowbear. Thats all. Mwah :)

-healing process mode.

It's not march 2011 anymore.

Life could be tough at times. Deal with it or die. Tomorrow will be the judgement day. Maram na ko tak result. I won't even open that piece of paper. I don't know if I can handle it. This is going to be difficult. I guess, have to adjust plans. Its not march 2011 anymore.

I'm trying to be optimistic. But I know where I stand. I need miracles so I could pass that subject. And if miracles are real, perhaps, tomorrow's going to be my lucky day. 

Should I go to school tomorrow? Would it be running away from reality if I won't be there? I know sooner I'll have to face it.Not as soon as tomorrow please. Well I've been on the process of forgiving myself for being a failure since the first half. I'm not over it yet, I guess. But I know I'm good. I'm good at screwing my life.  I still love myself though. Probably its not that obvious. I swear, I still love who I am. I'm not being emotional or something. Don't even have plans of joining the club. Well I won't deny that I'm too dramatic, or pessimistic or what. Please allow me to be like that. Just for now. Also til tomorrow or the day after that. Maybe a week after. It's not going to last til next year, I promise. Just for now. 

I'm bleeding in silence. No wounds or blunt trauma.It's like I want to tell those dinosaurs to: "EAT ME!". Oh well they don't exist anymore. I'll have  the giant snakes do that instead. Hmm, but i'll surely be running for my life after saying it. See? My instincts will not let me die. Which means, I still would choose to be alive. Life could be tough at times. Deal with it or die.

cura2 or compre?

finally, natapos na geap an exams. don't even know the formulas, neway, hi sir na bahala. Move on! i'll be attending sir dickya's talk about commitment, huhulat la ak kn che'2, then mkad2 na kami school. after a month makauli na geap ak. REST day tomorrow :) then, we have to be in school by monday for theology. we'll go to dulag after, for the outing han class. overnight ada. Hopefully, around thursday na ma sched an oncall and make up duties so we'll have enough time na mkrest ng bonggang bongga.


hays, will i be enrolling for cura 2 or compre? if i fail, i'l try agen. and agen. and agen. but im still hoping for the best, i have to :) Hope keeps me alive! keep going aimz :) remember the 5 Ps? don't forget them in facing your giants.

adi na gaspang. gotta go now :)

1st SEM -- over?

4 months have gone so fast. we'll be taking our last exam for test and measurement  tomorrow. SEMBREAK follows. it's not a break actually, atleast we'll be able to rest our minds from all those head breaking exams. On-call duty is on the top of my TO-DO-list. next to it are my make up duties. :)

Im still not sure if i'm goin to make it. Got 2 subjects na "tagilid". 


Gotta go now. I'll be having my snack with tata and jade. :)


fries + float = slurp!