change.

 

            Few weeks from now I will no longer be introducing myself as “Hey guys, it’s me Aimz. 19 years of age.” Wow! It’s just so amazing that I was able to survive the different twists of life for 19 years! It was never easy, I tell you.

            I have survived different tests which made me who I am. Some of them made me better while others, well let’s just say made me a little worse, I suppose.

            As we grow older, we will encounter different circumstances and whether we like or not they will make alterations in our lives. The only choice that’s left is to accept that something’s always changes and we have to be ok with that.

            Seriously, I’m having a hard time dealing with the changes in my life now. Things are not as simple as I thought it is.

            I assumed when I made it through the pains I’ll be stronger. I was wrong. Life has a lot of dramas that could sometimes weaken us. Endless, I should say. And no matter how I’d love to stay strong, I can still associate my name to this word – VULNERABLE.

However, I always believe tomorrow’s going to be a great day. Goodnight fellow believers!

           

Opinyon ko lang naman!

Sa totoo lang hindi ko mgets kung bakit ang daming galit kay Willie Revillame because of that march 12 episode. First is, it wasn't his idea na maging ganon yung talent ng bata. Second, is that hindi nya pinipilit sumayaw ung bata ha? everytime pinapatugtog ung music, sumasayaw nlang yung batang yun. Kung mka comment nman yung mga tao feeling nila e ang BAIT BAIT nila. Perfect? ganon? Ang OA nyo ha? nakakaloka! my pa Republic Act pa kayong nalalaman! Otot nyo Pink! Phew! Nkakahigh Blood! haha. 

 

ah kaya nman pala. umiiyak na yung bata e!

Kasi umiyak ung bata kaya ang dami ng galit sa Host? Oh I get it. Kase umiiyak yung bata kaya naghahanap kayo ng sisihin? E kahit wala namang kinalaman yung host sa talent nya! Magalit kayo sa nagturo sa batang yan kung pano sumayaw ng ganyan! Hay! Nu ba yan? At pwde ba? Republic Act blahblah, wag to yung problemahin nyo, may mas seryosong problema ung Pilipinas. Eto o! 

 

Gawan nyo to ng paraan kase mas malaking
problema to kesa kay Willie Revillame.

POWER!

Few weeks ago, I met EMPIRE. So I'm into network marketing now. Little by little, natutunan ko na sya through the help of my ever supportive uplines. We'll one more thing na nagustuhon ko pa sa empire is that it's not just a business it's a bunch of crazy people which I could consider as a family.

 If someone will ask me kung bakit pumasok ako sa ganitong industry? Gusto kong yumaman e! Ung tipong kahit maubos mo ung 1million in a day hindi ka prin maghihirap. Haha. Sa totoo lang gusto ko lang naman ng ganito:

It's what keep's me motivated! POWER!

magiging akin ka rin :)

worry-FREE.

Had some chit-chats with Chel and Juy kanina at Tops. We were supposed to be studying for our upcoming exams. I had fun talking with them about our misfortunes and troubles in the past years of our college life. And from that conversation, I realized whoaaaa! Kinaya ko pala lahat ng yun?

Also, ok na pala ko. I don’t feel the same pain that I felt few months ago. However, I’m still on the process of boosting my self esteem again, after it dropped off from failing to pass curative and rehabilitative 2. Given the fact that people usually associates the word “irregular” from “stupid” “idiot” or other related humiliating terms which in other words regard me as a brainless lassie having an IQ score of 23 or less. And we Filipinos call it “bobo”.

No matter what they think about me or with my fellow irregulars, I don’t care. And I don’t believe them.

So for now, I’m enjoying my remaining worry-free days to do whatever unnecessary things that pops out in any space that I have in my freaking head.

STUNS,

Aimz.

Who stole my magic?

LOVE? oh well. I will always be fascinated by it's ability to alter our lives. It moves mysteriously that even the most intelligent people won't be able to explain how it works. To be in love is like to experience a whole new world of magic with that someone. Everything seems perfect. Endless.

However, building a good relationship is the hardest part. That's probably the reason why status would turn out to be: It's complicated!. It really is. It takes a lot of sacrifices, patience, understanding, time, effort and all. When we are into serious relationship, we try our very best to keep things working. Yet, it fails. And just like what the song says, here it comes, the hardest part of all. Probably, it's one of the most painful things you will ever feel. Very tragic. Unbearable.

So for those who are still on the process of grieving for losing someone you consider as your world, I copied some tips on how to mend that slightly cracked hollow muscular organ inside you.

Who Stole My Magic?

by Jenny Manuel

(http://www.facebook.com/pages/Who-stoLe-my-Magic/150359638336750?v=app_2373072738#!/pages/Who-stoLe-my-Magic/150359638336750)

1. Admit that the relationship is over.

Say it aloud to yourself in the mirror, or write about it in detail to a close friend or family member who knew you and your ex as a couple. Telling someone else, if you haven't already, is a sign that you admit that breakup is real...

2. And then cry, shout, kick the walls, hit a punching bag--do whatever you need to do to release all negative energy smoldering inside you..

3. Think about whom among your friends or family members are going to be the most gentle and supportive of you during this period and then ask them for their help.

Be honest about how you feel--talk to them and don't be afraid to cry. It's okay to be a wreck--for a while.

(Chapter 1) Or why you need a friend with the patience ofa saint?

The days and weeks immediately following a difficult breakup are always the most difficult and the most critical.

After the shock of what has just happened (your life just ending...at least you feeling that way), denial and gut-wrenching grief tend to follow hot on shock's heels. Every waking moment will be filled with thoughts of the ex -- how to get back with him, how to say sorry to him, how to kill him.

"DON'T EVER BE SORRY FOR BEING SAD. AND DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR CRYING , WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS COMPLETELY NORMAL AND HEALTHY."

(Chapter 2) Or why asking 'What if' can drive you around the bend?

"DON'T BOTHER ASKING WHY."


When trying to fathom the reasons for the breakup I managed to narrow it down to two possible explanations:

1.) The ex was in fact, wholly evil; surely only the spawn of Satan would ruin a girl's three big occasions of the year in one go;

2.) "He's just too cheap to buy you two presents in a month. You'll see. He'll be back in January."

Left without answers I decided it was best to not try to make sense of the situation.

Asking someone to explain why they don't love you, or won't love you or can't love you is like asking someone to explain why the wind blows.

(Chapter 3) Or why listening to sad songs is really bad idea?

"Whatever you do, don't listen to any sad songs or music.
It will only make you feel worse!"


The point is that music can be a very powerful tool because it often speaks directly to our souls. But it can be just as powerful a tool for healing as it is for wallowing.

(Chapter 4) Or why treating yourself to a makeover is good for the soul

A difficult breakup is very bruising to one's ego. After breakup you couldn’t help feeling that you had lost some of your spark.


"Beauty may only be skin deep and true beauty might lie in the soul, but it doesn’t hurt to have your outsides looking good when your insides are badly bruised."


MAKEOVER being an enhancement rather than a radical transformation --it was about rediscovering the best bits and making the most of them.

True friends will be able to see beyond the sad eyes and cheerless countenance to recognize your finest assets and can offer honest advice on the best ways to highlight them...

(Chapter 5) Or how you shouldn't become bitter and jaded?

After the initial pain and trauma of having your heart broken pure, unadulterated anger and rage set in. Suddenly revenge scenarios keep playing in your head like very bad B-movies on perpetual rerun--the one where your ex turns up on your doorstep in tears, begging for forgiveness; the one where you're looking fabulous and run into your ex with your ex with your gorgeous new man in town; or the one where you run over your ex, with a bus or a basic themes running through them--revenge and triumph.

The feelings of anger and resentment are normal; they're simply part of hate grieving process. "The real trick is not to let the anger take residence in your heart and consume you."

(Chapter 6) Or how travel can help you to ease the pain?

When you're heartbroken, the thought of hastily packing your bags and running away suddenly feels very tempting.

"Travel, go somewhere you've never been. You need to get away from your immediate surroundings and realize that there is a huge world out there with endless possibilities and billions of people that you've never met."

(Chapter 7) Or how moving furniture around can do you a world of good?

"When you lock yourself in your room-- miserable and weepy -- the space picks up the negative energy and your room becomes a depressing place to be. You need to let out the sadness and allow some new air in."

(Chapter 8) Or why it's time to find a new passion?

There was one point in the aftermath of a breakup where your ex was the last thing you thought of before going to sleep at night and the first thing that entered your mind when you woke up in the morning. His rude and unwelcome intrusion into your thoughts drove you insane.


"Trying to prevent yourself from thinking about something is pointless---

FIND A NEW PASSION..."

(Chapter 9) Or how taking a step back can help you see the bigger picture.

Why is it that the memories of how they made us laugh are so much more vivid than the memories of how they made us cry?

"Sometimes, if you are having difficulty coming to terms with something, all you need to do is to take a step back and look at the bigger picture."

(Chapter 10) Or why it's important to get out there and meet new people.

One of the hardest things about a breakup is dealing not only with loss of a lover but oftentimes with a "bestfriend", a guaranteed movie date and travelling partner all in one. After a breakup it isn't unusual to look at your diary to find it looking a little, well...bare.

Sometimes, when deeply involved with someone, we have a tendency to slip into default Couple Mode. Signs you've entered this not-so-desirable state:

* You make less of an effort to see old friends and make new ones.

* You can't remember the last time you went on a Girl's Night out or why you might want to.

* You find it impossible to make social appointments without first checking the "joint diary".

* You can't commit to movie dates with friends because you promised your partner you'd watch the movie with him.

This is why new couples often find themselves slipping away from their friends, especially from single friends--the dynamics of socializing, and indeed the will to socialize at all, can often be affected by whether one is single or part of a couple.

Whatever pains you are feeling right now, it's temporary. Unless, you let it stay in your heart. Move on. All I hope is for you to be fine always. Thank you for the time you've spent reading this blog. God Bless.

 Lots of Love,
Aimz.

I am Sam REF.

Just finished watching I am Sam. The story was really touching. It made me realized that being able to love another doesn’t mean we have to acquire that high level of intelligence. Of course, we don’t need it.

We don’t have to master the theory of the behavior of gases that assumes heat is a process of energy transfer and the internal energy of a gas is the total energy of its particles which is the kinetic theory. Uh, cut it out please.

Loving someone is all about being patient. It’s all about caring, listening and trying to understand what you cannot understand. Loving doesn’t focus on one’s self. Rather it is centered towards other people.  For love to be true, it must be selfless. Otherwise, it’s fraud.

Sometimes, we tend to judge those mentally-challenged individuals. We are insensitive towards their feelings. We often forget that they are humans too. They can feel. And like any other human beings they are capable of loving.

It’s so sad to know that sometimes, the world is not fair to them. I guess life has always been unfair. I’m not being bitter, just stating some fact. A very dramatic reality.

That’s life anyway. The only choice that we have is to deal with it. However, we should be reminded that we are not alone with this. We have God. We just have to let Him lead the way.

boredom!

Ayaw na tlagang papigil ng ulan. hindi ko nga alam kung saan gumimik ung araw, sa sobrang pageenjoy ay nakalimutan na ata ung mga responsibilidad nya sa mundo. Hay!

Feel ko mgblog. Pero wala rin naman akong gusto ikwento. Buhay ko? Suz. Wala naman akong masyadong makabuluhang nagagawa lately. Kung hindi ako nakababad sa internet ay siguradong tulog ako.

Balak ko sanang isearch ung reasons kung bakit ayaw kaming tantanan ng ulan para lang ba may makabuluhan naman akong ikwkwento sa inyo. Kaso bigla akong tinamad. Haha. Wag nalang.

just some ordinary day.

               Woke up at 9am. I have to. Went to SOPHIE to pick up my orders, school after. Had lunch with Joco, then we played dota with the girls and boomliki. We had dinner after that.

                When I arrived at my boarding house, I had some catching up with my friends, talking about how they spent their break and other stuff. These are the moments I will always cherish. It’s just so sad that we will no longer be able to have that long talks soon. Some will graduate. We’ll get busy focusing on our chosen fields. Some would get married. No more DOTA game. No more screaming. No more calling of funny names toward each other. I tell you, these are the best moments in life. Moments wherein you’ll get to laugh so hard because of nothing or going crazy over the things that only you and your friends knew.

                I pity those people who don’t find time to laugh and do crazy things once in a while. They’re missing a lot. Oh well maybe, it’s what makes them happy.

                I live life to the fullest. I don’t want making regrets. It’s of no use. It only makes me miserable. If I fail to do something, then let it be. Other options might be available, so why not grab them and make the most of it? There’s just no sense in thinking about the “what if’s”.

                Life is unpredictable. We might not be here tomorrow. So, live well!

                Have a fun ride in dreamland we all deserve to rest! Good Night. 

Stop regretting the things that once made you smile.

dear2010

9:06PM 12/31/10

                This has been a very challenging year for me. A lot of unpleasant things happened which undoubtedly affected on how I view the world and the people in it. Countless tears have flowed. Problems came my way. There are a lot of them, I could say.

                The year opened up with a not-so-good experience. I was humiliated by a CI for failing to complete my requirements. I was sent home. I cried. It made me miserable for weeks. I became defiant. I could use a million of awful words just to describe how terrible that experience was. But I’m over it now. I have forgiven her, since it’s was a nice thing to do.

                Let me share those things that I’ve learned out of it. First, I will never be like her. I will be more sensitive and professional in disciplining my students when the time comes that I’ll be a CI. I will never treat my students the way she treated me and the other students. I wrote it here, because when the time comes that I will forget my promise, this will serve as a reminder.

                Second, I became more responsible in attending my clinical duties because I never wanted that awful experience to happen again.

                Third, the next time it happens, I will not let myself be affected again since I’ve learned that nurses are good shock absorbers. I have to acquire that skill.

                So that’s for January. Come February, my mom got hospitalized for a week. It made me worried. I was given responsibilities which made me realized that I wasn’t that same little girl back then.

                When March came, I started going night outs. I did things which made me consider myself as bad. I started loving the things that I hate. But I hate it again now. I swear. But I don’t regret what I have done. It was fun, though it was just not the right thing to do. Not something to be proud of.

                Passing curative 1, was one of the most rewarding things that happened during this month. I also passed RLE in spite of failing to go on duty sometimes. Got two days sanction for that.

                I was able to have my psychiatric affiliation on the following month, a really unforgettable one. I was fascinated by the conditions of the different patients that I met. I can’t help but wonder what kind of world are they in? It was really a very nice experience to be in that hospital, how I wish we could have stayed there longer than two weeks. During the termination phase, I was teary-eyed. Too bad, we are not allowed to cry. If so, I would have cried that time. Goodbye’s has always been painful. Nevertheless, that experience will always be remembered.

                By the way, it was also during April, when I met him and we became us. It was one of the best decisions that I’ve made. Although we don’t agree on some things, we fight a lot, and he tend to be difficult to understand sometimes, he has given me indefinable happiness that I only felt when I met him.

                May was spent on enhancement duties, and before I knew it, June is already there. Start of classes as a 4^th year student. Not long before the class had started, I had a varicella, commonly known as chicken pox. Consequently, I missed 3 days OR duty and a 6 days lecture on my other subjects. I lost my enthusiasm for studying. And this is where my laziness started. Still not a good excuse, I know.

                July, August, September was spent on trying to understand my lessons, answering out of the world questions, trying not to sleep during discussions, writing my incomplete notes and not reading it, making efforts on going to class on time but failing over and over again, playing Dota with the girls, missing my class because of waking up late, 1 hour travel to and from school, and spending time with him. 

                October came, results were given. And tadaaaaahhh, I failed. It was painful, I tell you. I cried. But I’m ok now. Except when my mom will be reminded of me not being able to graduate this coming march. That’s terrible. When I think of all their efforts, I feel so guilty for not doing well in my academics. Nevertheless, I enjoy my loose schedules now. It’s fun. I’ve got all the time in the world to sleep and do unnecessary things.

                As for November, I committed myself on serving the youth camp in Palo. It was an overwhelming experience. I have missed doing things that are pleasing to His eyes. It reminded me of who I was before.

                Also one of the life changing events during this month was the retreat. It was really nice. I’ve realized that some people have also experienced feeling so worthless and sinning against Him. I tell you, it is really painful to be away with God.

And from that retreat, I realized how much I missed him. And how selfish I am for doing only the things that I want to do and not considering what He really wants for my life. But as what sister had said, our God is a forgiving God. I know he has forgiven me, even before I asked for His forgiveness. I have also forgiven myself for being so unworthy of His love.

Before the year ends, a very hurting event happened again, my pahabol pa. My grandmother died. I have accepted what happened, but I can’t help but cry every time I remember her. I missed her. (naluluha na ak yana). I’ll stop talking about it. I don’t want to cry now. 

This month I attended a lot of Christmas parties. It was fun. Talking and catching up with friends. I am really delighted with this season of loving and giving. Wala ng sasaya sa Pasko dito sa Pinas. Before the conclusion, I want to leave this line from a song: May the spirit of Christmas, be always in our hearts.

So this all forms my 2010. Unpleasant things have happened and I learned lessons from it. Good things happened and I thanked God for it.

Though, it has been a difficult year for me, academically and all the other areas of my life, there’s still a lot of things to be thankful. We must remember that one of the things that are countless, are the blessings. Have you started counting yours?

I will finally say goodbye to 2010. Wounds are starting to heal. Painful experiences are starting to fade. Lessons learned will always be remembered. Moments will always be cherished. I’m going back to who I was before: full of self-worth. I only have one New Year’s Resolution and that is to strive harder to be a better person.

With hearts full of hope, faith and confidence, as a say: HELLO 2011!

My Mr.NOT Perfect

YOU,

                I never expected nor dreamed of you. We met in a very unpleasant way. You were very annoying that time, though I must admit, I was attracted to you.

                I thought that’s just it, until one day we had that chance to look at each other’s eyes, and there was this connection. The moment that made my heart beats twice its normal rate. And from being a stranger you became someone not a stranger at all.

                Weeks after that, I said YES. But that was because I was planning to teach you a lesson. I tried to break up with you because things are getting serious. I told you the whole teaching-a-lesson thing, you get mad, as I expected. However, we continued.

7 months, 9 days and still together. It’s quite amazing how we made it here. It was never easy for both of us. We went through a lot of adjustments and acceptance dramas, which I believe were not over it yet.

I wasn’t the perfect girl. I have mood swings which I know you’re still on the process of learning how to deal with it. I waste my time on computer stuff. I overslept, most of the times. I call you bullsh*t. I let my pride go over me at times. I don’t like PDAs. I sometimes neglect you. I unknowingly or unintentionally hurt you. I’m glad you stayed.

 You’re not good at staying away of troubles. You often start a fight. You we’re not Mr. Perfect. But after realizing it, it’s odd that I still want to be with you.

I choose to stay though you tend to become cranky at times, or get jealous over unreasonable things. And even if I find you annoying when you become so over protective, possessive, egocentric and conceited I’ll stick with you. I know you know that.

I’ll be your friend. And when you just need someone to talk to, I’ll listen. You’re the only bullsh*t I never would want to get rid of. That face with pimples on it and a wrinkled forehead from being so irritable from losing a DOTA game, it’s what I want to see upon waking up every day. I’ll pray that we’ll be able to make this ‘til forever and the day after that.

You’re the guy I want to have long walks with. And though you lose temper like a 3 year old boy, I love you and you know that I do.

ME♥