LOVE? oh well. I will always be fascinated by it's ability to alter our lives. It moves mysteriously that even the most intelligent people won't be able to explain how it works. To be in love is like to experience a whole new world of magic with that someone. Everything seems perfect. Endless.
However, building a good relationship is the hardest part. That's probably the reason why status would turn out to be: It's complicated!. It really is. It takes a lot of sacrifices, patience, understanding, time, effort and all. When we are into serious relationship, we try our very best to keep things working. Yet, it fails. And just like what the song says, here it comes, the hardest part of all. Probably, it's one of the most painful things you will ever feel. Very tragic. Unbearable.
So for those who are still on the process of grieving for losing someone you consider as your world, I copied some tips on how to mend that slightly cracked hollow muscular organ inside you.
Say it aloud to yourself in the mirror, or write about it in detail to a close friend or family member who knew you and your ex as a couple. Telling someone else, if you haven't already, is a sign that you admit that breakup is real...
2. And then cry, shout, kick the walls, hit a punching bag--do whatever you need to do to release all negative energy smoldering inside you..
3. Think about whom among your friends or family members are going to be the most gentle and supportive of you during this period and then ask them for their help.
Be honest about how you feel--talk to them and don't be afraid to cry. It's okay to be a wreck--for a while.
(Chapter 1) Or why you need a friend with the patience ofa saint?
The days and weeks immediately following a difficult breakup are always the most difficult and the most critical.
After the shock of what has just happened (your life just ending...at least you feeling that way), denial and gut-wrenching grief tend to follow hot on shock's heels. Every waking moment will be filled with thoughts of the ex -- how to get back with him, how to say sorry to him, how to kill him.
"DON'T EVER BE SORRY FOR BEING SAD. AND DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR CRYING , WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS COMPLETELY NORMAL AND HEALTHY."
(Chapter 2) Or why asking 'What if' can drive you around the bend?
"DON'T BOTHER ASKING WHY."
When trying to fathom the reasons for the breakup I managed to narrow it down to two possible explanations:
1.) The ex was in fact, wholly evil; surely only the spawn of Satan would ruin a girl's three big occasions of the year in one go;
2.) "He's just too cheap to buy you two presents in a month. You'll see. He'll be back in January."
Left without answers I decided it was best to not try to make sense of the situation.
Asking someone to explain why they don't love you, or won't love you or can't love you is like asking someone to explain why the wind blows.
(Chapter 3) Or why listening to sad songs is really bad idea?
"Whatever you do, don't listen to any sad songs or music. It will only make you feel worse!"
The point is that music can be a very powerful tool because it often speaks directly to our souls. But it can be just as powerful a tool for healing as it is for wallowing.
(Chapter 4) Or why treating yourself to a makeover is good for the soul
A difficult breakup is very bruising to one's ego. After breakup you couldn’t help feeling that you had lost some of your spark.
"Beauty may only be skin deep and true beauty might lie in the soul, but it doesn’t hurt to have your outsides looking good when your insides are badly bruised."
MAKEOVER being an enhancement rather than a radical transformation --it was about rediscovering the best bits and making the most of them.
True friends will be able to see beyond the sad eyes and cheerless countenance to recognize your finest assets and can offer honest advice on the best ways to highlight them...
(Chapter 5) Or how you shouldn't become bitter and jaded?
After the initial pain and trauma of having your heart broken pure, unadulterated anger and rage set in. Suddenly revenge scenarios keep playing in your head like very bad B-movies on perpetual rerun--the one where your ex turns up on your doorstep in tears, begging for forgiveness; the one where you're looking fabulous and run into your ex with your ex with your gorgeous new man in town; or the one where you run over your ex, with a bus or a basic themes running through them--revenge and triumph.
The feelings of anger and resentment are normal; they're simply part of hate grieving process. "The real trick is not to let the anger take residence in your heart and consume you."
(Chapter 6) Or how travel can help you to ease the pain?
When you're heartbroken, the thought of hastily packing your bags and running away suddenly feels very tempting.
"Travel, go somewhere you've never been. You need to get away from your immediate surroundings and realize that there is a huge world out there with endless possibilities and billions of people that you've never met."
(Chapter 7) Or how moving furniture around can do you a world of good?
"When you lock yourself in your room-- miserable and weepy -- the space picks up the negative energy and your room becomes a depressing place to be. You need to let out the sadness and allow some new air in."
(Chapter 8) Or why it's time to find a new passion?
There was one point in the aftermath of a breakup where your ex was the last thing you thought of before going to sleep at night and the first thing that entered your mind when you woke up in the morning. His rude and unwelcome intrusion into your thoughts drove you insane.
"Trying to prevent yourself from thinking about something is pointless---
FIND A NEW PASSION..."
(Chapter 9) Or how taking a step back can help you see the bigger picture.
Why is it that the memories of how they made us laugh are so much more vivid than the memories of how they made us cry?
"Sometimes, if you are having difficulty coming to terms with something, all you need to do is to take a step back and look at the bigger picture."
(Chapter 10) Or why it's important to get out there and meet new people.
One of the hardest things about a breakup is dealing not only with loss of a lover but oftentimes with a "bestfriend", a guaranteed movie date and travelling partner all in one. After a breakup it isn't unusual to look at your diary to find it looking a little, well...bare.
Sometimes, when deeply involved with someone, we have a tendency to slip into default Couple Mode. Signs you've entered this not-so-desirable state:
* You make less of an effort to see old friends and make new ones.
* You can't remember the last time you went on a Girl's Night out or why you might want to.
* You find it impossible to make social appointments without first checking the "joint diary".
* You can't commit to movie dates with friends because you promised your partner you'd watch the movie with him.
This is why new couples often find themselves slipping away from their friends, especially from single friends--the dynamics of socializing, and indeed the will to socialize at all, can often be affected by whether one is single or part of a couple.
Whatever pains you are feeling right now, it's temporary. Unless, you let it stay in your heart. Move on. All I hope is for you to be fine always. Thank you for the time you've spent reading this blog. God Bless.
As usual, love again.that seems to be your favorite topic here.
ReplyDeletelove is the mystery of life.
http://arandomshit.blogspot.com/
hahha. :)
ReplyDeleteoi. how are u going with compre?
goodluck.